no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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