I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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