Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
