My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
