bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
