I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just high enough for therapy.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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