I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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