Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
