if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
