Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Randomize
