can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
