what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
