we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
bring money and cleavage
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
The cops high fived after they tackled you
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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