i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize