i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
