my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
