And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
