I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You need Xanax blowdarts
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
