Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
