A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize