Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize