i don't like sucking hair
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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