I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I can't turn off my feet"
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
