I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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