i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
