I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
