Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
