You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Randomize
