When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize