you're like a bully in the Christmas story
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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