he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize