Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
