so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Randomize