benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
