She's JV to your varsity
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Randomize
