he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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