Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
