I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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