i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
We don't watch enough power rangers
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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