I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
