Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
foreskin is a definite game changer
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
