Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
