Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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