i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
