she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
