I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
