forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
