we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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