made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
