I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
The feeling are messing with the penis
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
