..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
