yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Randomize
