Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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