And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
