Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Everyone says I win the strip club
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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