we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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