I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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