At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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