I'm gonna have a badass scar
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
