the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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