wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
