shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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