i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
