it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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