to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
