She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
